How to be Unghostable
Ghosting is not just for people who are bad at dating. PLENTY of ghosting happens in professional settings, too. Based on my (horrible, best-selling-memoir worthy) dating experience and my (legend-in-progress?) work experience, I wager that people disappearing without responding to you happens all of the time. However, there is nothing more important than getting people to talk to you if you’re a producer, a reporter or a project manager. Here is what I’ve learned about how to be unghostable:
Be specific and firm. When you first contact a new professional partner or potential interviewee, tell them what you need and when. Don’t say, “get back to me sometime in the next month” or “at your earliest convenience” or “if you’re interested please let me know.” Instead, say “I’d like to know XYZ by DDMMYYYY.” In giving this person a specific question, you’ve made their work easier to complete because it’s not an open-ended task.
Be persistent. Since you established a deadline for a response, remind the person that the deadline is approaching. Then, if you haven’t heard from him or her, remind them that today was the deadline. If you’re not getting a response after a few reminders, try the next strategy.
Be omnipresent. If you started an email correspondence but you’re not getting the feedback you need, pick up the phone and call the person. Leave a voicemail (perhaps multiple). If the person includes their cell phone number in their email signature or they already gave the number to you, text them. Are they on a professional chat service like Slack? Make sure you contact them there too. And if you’re ready to take things to Jedi level (and the person is in reasonable geographic proximity to you), stroll by their office or cubicle sometime. This was my failure-proof method before the pandemic, but it’s still effective if someone is working a few days a week in the office. Go ahead and leave the friendly Post-it note in a bright fluorescent color on their door if they’re not there.
Be vocal about the challenges. At this point, you’ve given this person every reasonable opportunity to engage with you. If they haven’t, but you need their participation, it’s time to enlist a team for help. Tell your supervisor you’re not getting a response from this project collaborator. Talk with other mutual professional connections: tell them you haven’t gotten a response and ask if there’s another way they know of to be in communication with this person. Check with your supervisor first, but I think it’s appropriate in this circumstance to contact the unresponsive person’s boss and explain that you’re not getting the communication you need to complete this project.
Be resourceful and ruthless to get to success. Keep in mind that the goal is to complete an outstanding project or produce an unforgettable story or podcast with just the right interviewees. The goal is not to get this person to acknowledge you (though that would feel like vindication). So, if they’re an obstacle to your success, do an exquisite spin move that would make even Ronaldo proud on the pitch. Pivot around them. Who else might have the information you need? Who else could provide the interview perspective you’re looking for? Find the people who are willing and eager to work with you so that your success doesn’t depend on someone else.
Things I don’t recommend:
Request “read receipts” from email. As a recipient, they’re just annoying and what do you, the sender, learn? That they read your email and didn’t reply or that they just didn’t read it? What does that get you? The result is the same.
Stalk professional connections on personal social media networks. If someone hasn’t responded to you, I think it’s perfectly acceptable to reach out to them on LinkedIn or another social media channel if it’s tied to their work. However, don’t DM someone on their personal social accounts. That will probably only trigger anger in the other person and make them even less likely to interact with you. Remember the goal is to work together, not just make contact or embarrass him or her. Keep it professional. Treat others as you want to be treated.
Take this silence personally. Sure, it’s possible that you’re getting the cold shoulder because the other person doesn’t like you, has better things to do, or [[fill in your most insecure vulnerabilities here]]. But in a professional setting, it’s much more likely that the other person is disorganized, overwhelmed with work, not very good at their job or doesn’t understand why this project is a priority. You don’t need to win friends in this situation; you just need to get the project done. Do what it takes to bring closure to this assignment and avoid this person as a collaborator in the future.
Is there anything else that you’ve found to be helpful to guarantee consistent communication? I’d love to hear it!
